Live with intent, take time, have patience and gain a new perspective. See how having a relationship with your teen can change both of your lives. Say goodbye to status-quo.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Here And Now

I think, as parents learning to "let go" is vital to us being awesome parents.
We either live too much in the past(their past mistakes/our guilt or what we could have done differently), or we live in their future (filled with worries/concerns/fear/questions), either way, we end up more in a "devastated" state. Thinking continually:
"Will they succeed, how can I handle saying goodbye when they leave, what if they are hanging around the "wrong" crowd, what if they get sick?" And the list goes on. . .We have to learn to live in the present with our kids. Learn to let go of both the past and the future, and let us focus on coming along side them in where/who/what they are now. That way, together we'll be able to work with one another, because I'm pretty sure our kids aren't in the past or the future, they are in today.


  1. Well, I know after reading this that I am living in a "devastated" state and never realized it. I am a mother of 3 girls ages 21, 16, and 12. Our 21 year old, who is a very smart girl but very much an underachiever, has been our challenge from the get go. With everything that we have been through with her, it has been hard to "let go" of the past because the pain is still there an so real. She is what is considered a textbook ADD and ODD child. We have tried many different approaches with her behavior...nothing seemed or seems to work and in her eyes, she saw us as being mean parents. Our other two girls are at the age now that they are aware of the strain in our relationship with their sister. I've tried to explain to them that we always showed love to her in our disipline, but we always seemed to fall short. They also see how their sister has made wrong choices which is a learning process for them so they do not make the same mistakes. As you stated, I need to let the past and the future go and work on our relationship in the present so the healing process can move forward.

  2. Thank you Lisa so much for your comment. I really appreciated it. And by no means am I an expert in ADD etc. . so each situation is unique and I respect that. I hope my little "note" helped in some way but also hope it didn't make you feel more pressure or worse that you are not doing the "right" thing.
    Take care--and thanks for reading!!!