Live with intent, take time, have patience and gain a new perspective. See how having a relationship with your teen can change both of your lives. Say goodbye to status-quo.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Not sure if any of your children out there are similar to mine in the fact that she never slows down. This girl has her hands in everything, and when I say everything, I mean I counted 10 activities/areas she is involved in, and that did not include
friend time, family time, chores or homework!

My daughter has a this huge love for life and everything that goes with it. She gives 100% all day, every day. She's an A student, and is happy 85% of the time. Let's just say she's not your typical teen.

I say all that to say all this. I started noticing back in December that she was getting run down. I didn't think too much of it, because it didn't last long and she was able to pick herself back up. But about 2 weeks ago, another spurt came along, and she was vomiting and had a lot of fatigue/weakness, and her stomach hurt for a week.

She didn't have typical cold symptoms, so I was concerned.
It seemed like this last spurt lasted about 5 or 6 days, but then she again, seemed a bit better for a few days. But one day last week she came home from school and could barely walk! She had trouble going up and down stairs and her body ached this time. I said "That's it, we are going in to get some tests done tonight."
She wasn't too happy about it, because again, she didn't want to "miss out" on a thing, including school.

We ended up going to Urgent Care, and the doc was going to blow us off as a "It's just a virus" visit, but I insisted she draw some blood (I learned the hard way that you have to be your own advocate when it comes to health).

We did the blood draw and the doc said she'd call me back tonight with the results. An hour later I got a call and she told me that Madelynn's white blood count was HIGH. She asked if we could come back in asap, and I said "Of course."
After some mystery and a round of tests, they sent us to the ER, and she had some more tests done.

She was diagnosed with Mono: Swollen Spleen, and enlarged lymph nodes. I was relieved that it wasn't anything "more". We go back in 2 weeks to have her blood drawn again to check the WBC.

This was a HUGE wake up call for me. Her body was left wide open for disease.

I have never been a parent who has trouble disciplining or saying "no" to my child. And when I say saying "no" I mean as far as like behavior, or material stuff, or boys or whatever. But I usually say YES to things like, staying out later, or having a sleepover, or running here or there, etc. . because I know those things make her happy and we like to see our kids happy, right?!

The doc said she is a classic TEXT BOOK CASE for mono, overachiever type. But her body is telling her NO. And ya know what? SO AM I from now on!!!
She can't do it all, and our bodies weren't meant to do it all, and she has to find some REST. Not just physical rest, but emotional, spiritual, mental REST. I mean when do our kids really get this? And what is the fine line with us as parents to encourage or telling them to REST? It's hard to not be pushy or overbearing isn't it? Don't you just wish they could figure this stuff out on their own?!!
Just lay in your room with the door shut with no music, no phone, no computer,no TV, no book, and just be quiet. Be still. That is what our kids need more of.
So pay attention to these things, and catch it before it's too late.

I know Madelynn will get over the Mono, but we have got to make some tough changes with the way she's approaching life. Her DO ALL approach has g o t t o g o.
We'll work together on how we can refine her weeks, and she's been very resistant, but I am asking her to trust me. I am asking her if I have ever given her a reason NOT to trust me. She said, "Good point". She's being quite a bit more receptive now and open to the fact that she's gotta slow down, way down.

It's all a journey, and it's part of the parent/child relating RELATIONSHIP that enables us to get through it together. Figure out a way to work through communicating your concerns and then listen to hers. I was frustrated when my daughter and I were buttin'heads but I kept telling her that I wanted us to be on the same page and asked her how can we get there? We have to approach it as working together, not against each other. And not us trying to control the situation with power so to speak.

SO my daughter is on Spring Break this week, and she is thoroughly enjoying her room, the living room, her bed, the couch, movies, and a little bit of the computer (just a little).


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