Live with intent, take time, have patience and gain a new perspective. See how having a relationship with your teen can change both of your lives. Say goodbye to status-quo.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Don't Get Em' Hooked

One thing I was always careful with with my daughter was NAME BRANDS. It's such an easy trap to get into. I know it was easier for me not to go down that path with her from the beginning because being single, I couldn't afford name brands anyway, but for me, it's not about whether or not I could afford it.

It's all about the principal. I mean there IS something to be said for quality clothing, I get that. But when our kids grow so fast, until the age of 16, there is no real reason to go down the road of name brands.
I'm not trying to change anyone's mind or judge anyway if they do by name brands, I'm just trying to offer a healthy perspective.

The first lesson is that just because our child wants something, doesn't mean they should get it. Not everything they want is good for them, just like everything we want as adults, isn't good for us.

Each decision I make for my daughter, I try to make sure WHY I'm making the decision and HOW that decision could/would affect her.

I started out by literally telling my daughter that brands mean NOTHING. And that it didn't matter what the TAG in her Shirt or Jeans said. I told her how expensive name brands were, and that I didn't have the money for them, but even if I did, I didn't think it would be wise to buy them. It's so easy for these vulnerable girls to get wrapped up in this scene, and it can become a focus, it can become something that they get their worth from. It can be something that they are defined by.
I just spoke really positively about a variety of stores/brands.

What's interesting is that my Best Friend had sent Madelynn a Birthday gift, and one of the gifts was a COACH mirror, in a little case that had "C's" all over it for Coach. I caught myself starting to freak out! I'm like "This is so cool Madelynn, I wonder if it's real?" ha ha, I'm like, "It's gotta be." I was so into it! And I could not get a response from her!
And all calmly she's like "Mom, it doesn't matter, you're the one that taught me that name brands aren't a big deal."
Well, she told me!

What I realized is that there was a part of me that could go that direction, if I focused on it. And I also realized that I had taught her about the "dangers" of getting wrapped up in name brands so much, that she literally sees them as the same as a no name.

It was a very humbling experience for me, and it was cool to see my daughter so sure of what she was saying, and not to see her swayed by a WORD on an item.

If you take anything from this posting please take away that just because your daughter may want something, anything, whether it's an expensive dress for a formal dance, or a name brand purse or clothing, doesn't mean you should buy it. What good will she take away from always/often getting what she wants when it comes to materialism? I am not saying we can't splurge once in a while and that your daughter can't wear nice clothes etc. But I think we can teach our kids MORE and they will learn and grow BETTER if we limit all of it.

The earlier you can start the better, and remember you are the first and best role model for her, so look at your own life and what you are projecting.

Happy shopping!

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