I often have expectations for Mother's Day. Sort of like I do for my Birthday. It's the two days that I sort of technically "get away" with doing, well--NOTHING. It's the two days I have in mind where I AM SERVED. It's the two days where I don't have to wipe a counter top down, find lost items, feed the dogs, make a lunch, answer a ton of questions, figure out schedules, keep track of emails from school/activities, make decisions, and the list goes on.
It's the two days where I just AM. I kind of envision it where my house hold is revolving around ME, not the other
way around. Kind of like they are looking out for me. They are catering to me. And if I really want to be
fairytale-ish, it's the two days where I feel like a QUEEN. Or at least aspire to.
Through the years I've collected many of hand made plants that my daughter brought home from school only to die right away. I've got a drawer full of paper cards, and lots of "cut outs" as I like to refer to them as. Whether she's cut out a person shape, a flower or a number, I have it.
I have construction paper riddled with glue, glitter and gems. I have clay pots, wooden plaques, dried flowers, and heart felt hand-written notes.
In more recent years I've gotten store bought-en cards-- And this year, a store bought-en keys chain, which I LOVED. It's a dog house and it has a photo spot so I can insert Nells. I even got a box of my favorite candy, Charleston Chews!
I'd have to say as my daughter gets older, I really really miss the home-made crafted goodies. And I admit I sort of expected them, if I'm being completely honest. It's seems the enthusiasm fades on days such as this a bit as children get older.
I miss the running up and jumping on the bed with the glitter spilling everywhere. I miss the excitement of doing something special for "Mommy".
I found myself hung up on this throughout the day. And maybe it was just because my daughter forgot to get me a card? Maybe it's because I didn't get a card or gift from my Husband?
I don't know.
Maybe my hang ups are justified? Maybe I'm selfish? Maybe I'm sad and mourning that I have only ONE YEAR left for celebrating Mother's Day with my daughter under the age of ADULThood? Maybe I'm frustrated with their lack of effort?
Am I taken for granted? Do they not appreciate me?
Whether the answer is YES or NO, I am STILL A MOTHER. That is what hit me as I was wallowing in self pity late this afternoon.
My daughter LOVES me. She LOVES me. I AM a MOTHER. That is ENOUGH.
What makes and made my day SPECIAL, wasn't the hoopla that surrounds what Mother's Day is suppose to be
according to the media; what made it special is the fact, the one and only fact, that I am a Mother.
What made it special is that when my daughter, even thought knelt over with cramps, was doing the dishes when we arrived home from lunch with my family.
What made is meaningful beyond any Paper Card could, was that in the middle of doing dishes my daughter says to me, "Didn't you hear me?"
I said, "No, what?"
She says, "I cut my finger."
I said, "Oh you did, I didn't know."
She says, "Ya, I told you."
I said, "I must not have heard you honey I'm sorry, let me see--does it hurt? How did you do it?"
She said, "It was a knife. I told you and you didn't say anything, so I thought you didn't care."
I said, "Oh honey, I'm so sorry, you know that isn't true, ever."
She asks, "Can I have a hug?"
I said, with tear filled eyes, "What? Sure, of course."
She held ME for about 1 minute. 1 minute. My 16 year old held me.
THAT far out weighed ANY expectation I ever had. That is something you can't think up on your own or expect for the day.
Same with the way she held doors for me all day long, asked how I was doing all day long, wished me Happy Mother's Day about 10 times, telling me she loved me, going to church together and her being able to connect with me about something in the sermon that we had just talked about, and complimenting me throughout the day.
And the best part of the day? Her thanking me before bed for being her Mommy. Her thanking me for who I am and what I do for her. Her telling me she wants me to help her raise her kids someday. (LOL BTW)---that is being treated like a Queen.
